Tuesday, October 27, 2020

An AHA Moment About Black Lives Matter

 


Have you ever had one of those “aha” moments when you least expect it?  It took me 50 years, but I recently had one after reading an article with my son for his English class titled, “A Talk to Teachers” by James Baldwin. 

The article was based on a speech that Baldwin addressed to teachers in 1963—years  before I was born—but is just as relevant today—which is telling.  Baldwin, a black novelist and activist, had a deliberate purpose for this speech.  He was asking educators; those that influence the purest of minds, to rise up against all resistance and change the false history and prejudice that is being taught in school about African Americans. 

Education in itself is supposed to develop independent thinking, reasoning and judgement in order to fairly and morally access the society in which we live and make needed changes as necessary.  If this is the case, how is it that we continue to address racism as a pesky mosquito whose sole aim is to suck the blood out of white privilege?  Perhaps this is harsh to some, but please open your minds for a moment as you read this article. 

When we are born, we are born without prejudice, malice or understanding of stature in society.  If you are white and born in this country—you are automatically given 5 stars just because the color of your skin.  You can’t possibly recognize this out right because you know no different.  This is why it is so hard for many white people to grasp the concept of white privilege.  For a child born of color and born in this country—things are recognizably different to them from a very young age.

Baldwin assert, “…any Negro who is born in this country and undergoes the American educational system runs the risk of becoming schizophrenic.”  

What does this mean?  Well, when you think of America, you think of justice, liberty, freedom, opportunity—the American dream.  This is what is taught in school.   But for a black child, they are also taught that their contribution to American history was nothing more than dutifully serving the white man. 

It is from the onset that a black child assesses the society around him and begins to recognize that all things are not created equal.  Before he can even prove himself, he is labeled unworthy—unworthy of all the opportunities allotted to white people as their right of birth.  Acknowledging this is difficult for white people—who often ask, “What do black people want?” 

This is where I had my “aha” moment.  Baldwin explains the silent rage that is building in that black child as he systematically get doors shut in his face.  Options are limited—they can either smile through rage or turn away from a society that long ago turned from them.  They can’t look toward politicians-- the government—or even the judicial system that was create to protect and benefit others—not them.   The simmering resentment, anger and rage is boiling now and is pointed directly at the power structure that continues to treat them differently simply because the color of their skin.

Please listen.  This rage is at the heart of the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960’s and the catalyst of today’s Black Lives Matter movement.  It’s much bigger than police violence against blacks.  It’s about society’s participation--- silent or otherwise—in allowing black people to be disproportionately subjected to less pay, harsher punishments, inadequate health care and very different life outcomes at all levels than white people.

I often hear or read in reference to the Black Lives Matter movement, “All lives matter, not just black lives.”  Yes, all lives matter, but that is not the point of the movement.  If all lives mattered, wouldn’t all lives be treated like they matter?  They are not.   Why is it so hard to admit this?  Because our ancestors were wrong!  What they did was wrong!  There is no way to justify it.  Saying it happened over 150 years ago and that black people should “get over it” is wrong.  We can only unlearn our history by not denying it. 

We must teach our children the truth in school about our history—ugliness and all.  Let us acknowledge that freedom didn’t happen because of the consciousness of the white man, but because of the fight to be free of the black man.  Perhaps we can only restore justice by starting at the beginning—by teaching our children to think for themselves, to fight for what is morally right—against societies take on superiority that continues to divide and damage our country.   

I don’t know what the answer is to end racism in our country.  I don’t know how we can restore the deep anger caused by years of oppression.  I guess I can start by asking, “How can I help?”

 

 

 

Monday, October 12, 2020

Life is Short- Age Gratefully


David Bowie once said, “Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.”  

Today I turned 51-years-old and Bowie’s quote really got me thinking.  

I joked around the past several months that I was not going to turn 51 this year; because I didn’t even get to celebrate or enjoy 50 due to COVID-19!    Instead, I decided I’d just turn 50 again.  

Over the weekend something changed my mind. 

I had the opportunity to get away to the coast; just me and my pup.  I seem to do most of my deep thinking during trips to the coast and this one was no different.  

Although I suffered some losses this past year and COVID-19 certainly turned my world upside down, I also had the most growth as a human being.  I spent the past 12-months working on me.  Working on my self-worth, my self-esteem—my self-love.  Working on being a better person, better friend and a better leader.  And you have all been a part of my journey through my writing and videos.  This is something I’ve always dreamed of doing, but never had the confidence to begin.

I decided when I started Workplace Wonda that I would be my authentic self, warts and all.  As I shared my stories with you, I began to look at my life differently.  I realized that every loss, win and everything in between is a part of my story—and is what has shaped the person I always should have been.

I am more than just a mom and wife.  I am a woman.  I am an individual.  I am a leader.  I have hopes and dreams that are mine—and only mine.  I’m learning about who I am, what I want to be—and I’m excited to see what is next.   I’ve learned to be alone with myself—and be okay.

There is no hiding this is a different chapter in my life.  ARP is knocking hard at my door.  Naturally, I refuse to answer!  But you can’t out run age—but I plan on putting up one hell of a fight.  

When I look in the mirror now, I notice the lines under my eyes are finer and more prominent.  I also see that grey hairs are sprouting out loud and proud on my middle part like never before.  And yet, I’ve never felt so confident as a woman.    When I speak, I project the power of my voice.  And, I believe for the first time that I deserve what I have earned and that I deserve to be treated equally and with respect.   

This past year I passionately committed myself to living in the moment and appreciating life.  So much so that I got a tattoo on my hip that states, “Be Here Now.”  This is a reminder to myself that each day is a gift and not to waste it away in shame and regret.

So, instead of turning “50 again,” I’ve decided to age gratefully (I’ll probably never age gracefully—I’m too vain) and acknowledge all the hard work I did when I was 50 and celebrate the start of a new year of life.   

Let's embrace Mondays, (or Tuesdays), and everyday with excitement.  We will do it together, each Monday-- for a moment.


Friday, October 9, 2020

Wellness Workout Wednesday

 I'm learning how to film and edit so I'm not getting these posted on Wednesday.  I will eventually figure all this out, but my goal is always to motivate and inspire so regardless of what day you receive this, know my heart is in my effort.

Thank you for your support.  If you could subscribe to my YouTube channel that would be great!




Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Monday Morning Moment #ChooseHappy

 


Coming up with a Motivation Monday this week was difficult as it was on Monday that my Father was laid to rest. Goodbyes are never easy. It seems like I’ve had to do a few of those the past few years.

Saying goodbye is a part of life. As you get older, those goodbyes seem to happen more often—at least in the physical sense. I came across this quote by Rumi that says, “Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul, there is no separation.”

Think about that quote for a moment. Separation is only physical. No one or nothing, including death, can take away what you hold dear in your heart and soul. We have a treasure chest of experiences and memories to cherish long after something ends.

Unfortunately, sometimes in life bad things happen. And when bad things happen we want to know, why. “Why me?” Well, why not you? If you are spiritual, you may believe these things happen for a reason and that it is a part of a bigger plan. Scientists suggest it’s more random and what happens in the universe is without any divine purpose or intent.  That bad things that happen to you are not personal—just cause and effects.

Stay with me on this one for a moment. So, if you are to believe that bad things are going to happen, whether divine or random, you should equally believe good things are going to happen, correct? If that is in fact true, why is it that we focus so much on the bad—on the loss—on the negative?

I get it.

It is easy to only see the negative when there is so much pain, hate and uncertainty in the world. I choose to see the positive. It is a choice. I’m not saying I don’t have moments. I certainly do. Sometimes challenges and stressors pile up so high that you stumble over the weight of them.  This is when your power to choose is presented. There are not that many things we have ultimate control over, but this is one of them. You can choose to lay under the pile—or you can choose to stand up and face those challenges and stressors head on.

What if I told you today is going to be the best day of your life? What if I told you that today you will be showered with blessings and good fortune beyond belief? What would that day look like to you?

Each day you wake up, you have the opportunity to have the best day of your life-- up until that day has past. Meaning—there is always hope that something good is going to happen. The chances of good things happening to you increases the more you focus on-- good things. If you are searching and seeking out the bad in everything and everyone—there is 100% certainty you will find it.

As a reminder to myself—each day I pull up one of my favorite Tik Toker whose hashtag is #ChooseHappy. She has Stage 4 Breast Cancer and often films during or after chemotherapy. No matter how hard of a day she has with her cancer, her goal is to choose to be happy and to spread positivity—not hate. She always starts off her videos with, “Good Morning or Good Evening Lovelies.” Then she proceeds to give you a messages of encouragement like “You are worthy.” “You are important.” “You are loved.”

Wow! f that doesn’t make you believe there is good in the world, I don’t know what else will. What if each morning, we all #ChooseHappy? No matter what our challenges are, we #ChooseHappy. No matter the loss we’ve experience or the health crisis we are fighting, we #ChooseHappy. What if we not only #ChooseHappy for ourselves, but we spread that message, #ChooseHappy to our family, our friends and our co-workers?

What if—even when we have to say a physical goodbye-- we #ChooseHappy in celebration of a treasure chest of memories and a love that can never be separated?

Please join me and #ChooseHappy!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I'd like to dedicate this article to all the lives that Breast Cancer has touched. 

For more information on breast cancer awareness, visit: www.nationalbreastcancer.org


Fa La La Funk- Dealing With the Holiday Blues

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