Wellness Wednesday- Let's Talk Strategy

 

Monday Morning Reminder of Your Worth

(click on link for video)  https://youtu.be/yPztIgYZmgo

We All Want and Need a Potty Party

 

"If you don't show appreciation to those that deserve it, they'll learn to stop doing the things you appreciate.” - Unknown

Appreciation. We all want it. 

Appreciation is acknowledgement that what we do, or who we are, brings value to someone or something.  It makes us feel worthy. It makes us feel seen. And it’s often the invisible hand that lifts someone up and inspires them to enrich their lives. It’s truly a wonderful gift to give—and receive.

Appreciation. We all need it. 

You can research any employee satisfaction survey and appreciation is always one of the top reasons employees choose to stay at an organization—and one of the top reasons employees choose to leave. The want—the need—for appreciation, recognition, acknowledgement and praise—starts at a very young age. 

For example, how many of us parents participated in a potty party when our toddler finally went do-do in the toilet instead of on the kitchen floor (ya, it happened!)? “What a big girl (boy),” we’d cheer and clap as we admired the floating achievement our child proudly displayed.  The purpose of the potty party was not only to encourage the positive behavior to continue, but also to build our child’s confidence and self-esteem.   

The need for recognition and appreciation continues into adulthood and plays an integral role in the development and satisfaction of our personal and professional lives.  So why do grown adults need a potty party every time they accomplish a goal, exceed expectations or provide excellent customer service? Because it feels good!!! And when something—like recognition, makes us feel good—we want to do it again and again. So, an employer can actually benefit (increased production, decreased turnover, happier employees and an improved bottom line) from making someone feel good!  Talk about a win-win.  I’ll take two please…

If showing sincere appreciation is a win for the employee and a win for the employer, why does “lack of appreciation” continue to show up over and over again on organizational employee satisfaction surveys? I have two theories—it is either NOT happening at all or enough or it’s NOT happening in a way that drives employee engagement.   

Why would it NOT be happening?

I’ve met many individuals, including supervisors that say, “I don’t need to be acknowledged!”  Can you guess who else they think “don’t need to be acknowledged?” You guessed it, their employees and/or colleagues. It’s unfortunate, but some supervisors think receiving a paycheck is appreciation enough. I fear these individuals never got a potty party when they were little or have received little appreciation/acknowledgment themselves; therefore, don’t want, or don’t know how to give it to others.  They are also the ones that expect a lifetime achievement award for putting their coffee mug in the dishwasher after their significant other spent the weekend cleaning the entire house without any mention. Disclaimer: Any resemblance to real life events is a coincidence and in no way shapes the author’s opinions or values. 

To remedy this, appreciation, just like civility. has to become a part of an organization’s corporate culture-- and it starts at the top. If top leaders put employee recognition and engagement at the top of their strategic objectives, it will begin to drive performance and employee satisfaction. When leaders begin to implement employee recognition initiatives and give out sincere appreciation themselves, the behavior will begin to be mirrored throughout the organization. 

Appreciation isn’t only shown through recognition and acknowledgement. For an employee to feel truly valued, leaders must regularly communicate any changes that can affect them, ask for their input on any changes that can affect them and offer guidance and support on any changes that can affect them. In other words, employees want to feel included in decisions that can have a positive or negative affect on the work that they do or how they do it. 

Another reason appreciation lacks in the workplace is that some supervisors just don’t know how to show appreciation in a way that resonates with employees. The best way to find out what makes your employees feel the most appreciated is by asking. You can do this corporately through an employee satisfaction survey or on a smaller scale during department meetings. You may be surprised how simple their needs are. Many employees just want their supervisor to guide them, evaluate their progress and recognize their achievement with a simple thank you or public acknowledgment. 

There are many ways to show appreciation and it should NOT be a once a year event.  Appreciation needs to be regular, sincere and specific. 

I want to challenge you. Concentrate on the things in your life, at home and at work, that make your life easier. It could be that an employee or leader went out of their way to help you on a project. It could be that your spouse washed and filled up your gas tank because they saw you were short on time. Now, I want you to STOP, take a moment to reflect on the gift that was given to you and consider how you can give them sincere acknowledgement.  Can you go beyond a thank you? Could you acknowledge them publicly at a meeting or send an email to their supervisor? Could you send them a handwritten note or gift them Starbucks?  What kind of potty party can you give them that will not only make them feel good, but will make YOU feel good?

Give them what they want.  Give them what they need.

APPRECIATION.  

Photo: (My 21-year-old cub) It's these moments that I knew taking that photo would come in handy as payback for the teenage years...

Wellness Wednesday- How to Go From Worrier to Warrior

 

Graduation Does Not End Until the Last Day of Your Life

“Graduation is only a concept.  In real life every day you graduate.  Graduation is a process that goes on until the last day of your life.  If you can grasp that, you’ll make a difference.”  - Arie Pencovici

Graduation season is upon us.  Graduates from preschool, junior high, high school and college will line up and march across the stage to receive a degree, certificate or other form of acknowledgment that a milestone has ended in successful completion. 

Why do we celebrate graduations?  I never really understood the big deal—that is until I became a parent!   Getting through high school without becoming a grandma was reason to celebrate!   Can I get a HOOYAH?!

I never was one of the “popular” kids in school.  Absurdly tall with no athletic ability, I tended to neither be “in” or “out”, just there.  My biggest flex (learned that from the Z Generation on tiktok—a thank you very much) in high school was probably catching the eye of the kicker of the varsity football team who became my boyfriend throughout high school.   I was neither engaged in high school activities nor was an academia of any kind.  In fact, until the day of graduation I wasn’t 100% sure I was going to walk.  I just knew I’d better—because according to my father, “Any dummy can graduate.  All you have to do in show up every day and turn in all your assignments!”   Now, my dad wasn’t minimizing those who did well in high school.  Instead, he was taking no excuses for me NOT to graduate high school.  And trust me, I pulled some wing dingers that gave me pause on graduation day.  I’m alive today to tell you—I graduated!  

College was a prerequisite to living at home after turning 18—so I milked that deal for six years until I received my B.A. in History.   (WARNING:  I tried, what I considered a “bullet-proof” plan to get my own daughter to graduate college.   Go to college or get out.   So, she decided marrying a Marine and moving to San Diego was the better option.  Tough love can backfire—and ricochet. 

As relieved as I was to graduate college, I didn’t even attend my college graduation—by choice.  Not to say that I wasn’t proud of receiving my degree, but I was way more concerned with, “What now?”   Sadly, I didn’t understand at the time the privilege I had to be able to attend college and that the graduation ceremony was not just about me—it was also for my family.  My graduating cub has a similar attitude that I had and really doesn’t get the point of the ceremony.  But, I sure do!  For one thing, I want PROOF that he has indeed graduated—and second—I, like many of you, worked really hard helping him with distance learning this year.  I DESERVE this ceremony.  Us parents should get a hat and tassel too!  Ding Darn it!

Graduating insinuates an end, but now there has to be the beginning of something else, right?  We should celebrate these educational milestones and accomplishments with the recognition that we have gained the skill and knowledge to navigate the sometimes “school of hard knocks.”    Even after graduation, we are being schooled—in life, right?  And yet, how often do we celebrate that we made it through a difficult day, that we survived a challenging assignment or that we learned a new skill that we never thought we could grasp?  There was a beginning—and an end—and you made it to the next day a little bit stronger and a little more capable.  You graduated.  Celebrate!

Understanding that graduating with a degree does not mark the end, is an important concept.  Bask in the glory of your accomplishment, but don’t ignore all the daily achievements, lessons and experiences that shape you.   And, also recognize that you have a lot more graduations to celebrate.   It’s not time to rest.  The following are a few examples of how you can continue the pursuit of life-long learning and growth—keeping in mind that “graduation is a process that goes on until the last day of your life.”

1.       Read Every Day- Whether it be the newspaper (you know that rolled up paper that usually gets thrown on your wet grass or underneath your car), news articles online, personal and professional books or books for pleasure, reading enriches your vocabulary and also ignites your scope of knowledge, curiosity and creativity.

2.       Be Informed- Stay abreast of current social, political and economic issues that could have an impact on you, your family and your community.  Knowledge is key to understanding important issues plaguing our country.  Do your research and form your own educated opinion so that you can have a voice.

3.       Get Involved- Participate on local boards, join the school PTA, become a member of the local Chamber of Commerce or other type of community volunteerism.  Not only is it a wonderful way to help local schools, businesses or charitable organizations, it’s a valuable way for you to be exposed to individuals from different backgrounds, cultures, viewpoints and experiences. 

4.       Continue Learning- I can’t stress this enough.  As a leader, nothing impresses me more than having an employee who is actively pursuing personal and professional growth.  This can include, volunteering on committees, requesting to attend webinars, workshops or conferences to improve their skills and abilities, continuing their academic education (even if it is one class- you are still one class closer to achieving your goal) or showing enthusiasm and interest in growing in their job or in the organization.

5.       Jump Outside the Box- There is something amazing about life-long graduations.  As you keep growing, you keep gaining confidence and you become more willing to try things outside your comfort zone.  Tackle things that you fear.  For example, if you have a fear of public speaking, start small.  Practice in front of family, friends or trusted colleagues.  Next, start raising your hand during meetings and sharing your opinions publically.  As you get more comfortable, graduate to taking a public speaking class or joining your local Toastmasters and master the skill.

6.       Don’t Stop- Don’t stop graduating until your very last day.

If you read this article, congratulations!  Add personal and professional growth to your daily list of accomplishments and acknowledge all that you achieved today.  

Great job, Graduate!

 Photos:  Top:  My cub at pre-school graduation and him as a high school senior (Class of 2021!)

  

Wellness Wednesday- What Does Happiness Mean to You?

 

"Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it."- Andy Rooney

“I’m happy,” I randomly state to no one in particular.  The suddenness of my outburst takes me by surprise. Unsure if I finally donated my body to science before I was done using it, my husband responds, “Thaaat’s greeeat.”  “Ya, it IS great,” I tell myself as a wide grin covers my entire face.

To some, my response may seem strange. But for those of us that suffer from overthinking, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and other happy busters, moments of contentment and pure joy can be far and few between.

Have you ever asked yourself, “What does happiness mean to me?” For me, happiness means peace. It’s the quieting of my brain from worry, anxiety and depression—and it’s the slowing of my body from constant movement. At least it was when I randomly blurted out, “I’m happy.”

So, what DOES happiness mean to YOU?

Happiness is a feeling only you can define.  It’s individually unique— just like you. It’s based on your specific preferences, needs, core values, and even your chemical makeup and DNA.  What makes me happy— a clean house fills my soul with pure bliss (mostly if I don’t have to clean it)— might not be what makes you happy. We are also not always going to be happy. There will be those stinky days where not only do we NOT see the glass half full, but we’d rather see the darn glass thrown against the wall. Having a bad day here and there does not make you an unhappy person—it makes you a normal person.

Obviously, we want more joy and more happiness in our lives and simply thinking it or stating it isn’t exactly going to get you to Disneyland (Get it? The Happiest Place on Earth? I crack myself up). We have to start by defining what happiness means to us.  Have you even said these words? I just want to be happy. Well, duh, we all want to be happy. But what does that look like to you? How could you possible ever be happy if you don’t even know what happiness means to you?

Increasing your happiness is not going to be a goal you reach and then you are done. If life is a highway, then happiness is along for the ride. Happiness is part of the journey and you have the wheel.  What made you happy ten years ago, might not be what makes you happy now. That is because we are constantly in motion, constantly changing. Happiness is a state of being that can change and even be fleeting at times. If you are simply in a constant state of unhappiness, it might be time to find out why and what has changed and what needs to change to reach a level of happiness in your life.

I don’t know about you, but I sure could use some improved happiness after the year we had. I can also safely say that some things that I wouldn’t have defined as making me happy a year ago, sure would now- like eating in a crowded restaurant. Shoot, I think I’ve been isolated so long that I could find joy in taking a ride on “It’s a Small World After All” at Disneyland!! Okay, now I might just be delirious.

To help you in your journey to enhanced happiness, I’m attaching a “Happiness Journal” that you can print. According to research done by psychologist Shawn Achor, author of “The Happiness Advantage” there are six habits that you can do each day that will help you on your happiness journey. The six habits are included in the journal, along with a daily journal template that you can do for the next 30 days.

Natalie Griffin once said, “Happiness is a choice not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you CHOOSE to be happy.”

Happiness Journal (Click Link to Download Journal)

You can find Monday Moment articles, Wednesday Wellness Fitness videos, Ask Workplace Wonda articles and Work/Life Videos on my website at www.workplacewonda.com or on my You Tube Channel. Don't forget to subscribe.

Thank you to everyone for supporting my vision to motivate and inspire.

Jeana Brooks

Human Resources & Communications Director

jbrooks@proteusinc.org (559) 735-3670

Freaky Friday- Walk a Mile in My Shoes

 

“Your job is not to judge.  Your job is not to figure out if someone deserves something.  Your job is to lift the fallen, to restore the broken, and to heal the hurting.” – Joel Osteen

 

Many of you may have watched the movie Freaky Friday.  It’s the scary tale of a mother and her teenage daughter who are very different from one another and they end up switching bodies for a day.  That would be freaky!  Although, I wouldn’t mind having the body of a teenager for a day with their perky… attitudes.   I digress. 

The movie has several lessons; one being the importance of appreciating our mothers and understanding the load they are carrying.  Speaking of which, don’t forget Mother’s Day is right around the corner.  Tell your Mommy you love her! 

The other equally important lesson is; you should never judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.   This seems like an easy concept and yet we make judgements and perceptions within seconds of meeting people.  In fact, according to research, it might take only a tenth of a second for someone to judge your trustworthiness and other important attributes.  Holy Guacamole!  Doesn’t seem quite fair does it?   What if I’m having a bad day?  Or worse, what if I’m having a bad hair day? 

The truth of the matter is, people will make assumptions about you.  It could be based on your appearance, the color of your skin, the gender you identify with or some other purely superficial reason that doesn’t reflect the full picture of who you are.   It’s an unfortunate truth.   We can’t control what other people think.  But we can learn from this fact and work on making “a great first impression,” right?
That includes how we present ourselves.  Ask yourself, am I dressing professionally and ensuring I am tidy and have good hygiene?  Am I walking with confidence, making eye contact, and am I actively listening and asking questions that show I am interested and care? 

But, the mother of all tips (that reference was to remind you that Mother’s Day is on May 9) to make a good first impression is to SMILE!   Studies show that a genuine smile boosts your confidence, makes you more approachable, increases your trustworthiness, and makes people feel good.   It’s just like the old saying goes, “You’d never hit a guy whose smiling, would you?”  Or, was it a guy with glasses you wouldn’t hit?  Well, you get the drift.

Perhaps you can do everything right-- and still be judged unfairly.  That is a possibility and you can only put out your very best effort and feel pride in how you presented yourself.  But, what you DO have control over is how YOU judge others. 

We don’t have the ability to change bodies with someone else like the mother and daughter did in Freaky Friday.  Trust me, you do not want to change bodies with this ole large-footed Amazonian with bad knees and tennis elbow!   But, we can practice empathy.  The definition of empathy is just doing that— it’s the ability to understand and see things from another’s perspective by imagining yourself in their place.   In the movie Freaky Friday, the mother was able to see her daughter in a different light after changing bodies with her.  She was able to experience all the insecurities of being young again and the pressures of school and trying to discover yourself.  Whereas the daughter was able to experience the stress of her mother’s career and all of the different roles she has to play as a mother, wife and working woman. 

So, how can we take the lesson of empathy and put it to work?  The following are a few tips:

1.       Listen- Be an active listener.  Repeat what you heard them say to ensure you have their correct message.

2.       Be open to new ideas, perspective and ways of doing things-  Creativity, invention and growth comes out of sharing and being open to new ways of doing things.

3.       Be patient- Slow your role and try to understand people learn and digest information differently.  They may need more time or need to see facts visually before giving input or making decisions.

4.       Don’t make assumptions.  It’s easy to just make swift assumptions about someone based on a one-time experience.  Give them the benefit of the doubt and a chance to prove themselves or explain a situation.

5.       Show genuine care and compassion- Care enough to know, know enough to care.  If you don’t ask, you will never know.   Realize you do not know what another person in going through or how their circumstances, tragedies or experiences have shaped them.

6.       We are all human beings- We all fall short.  We are all broken.  Practice grace and forgiveness. 

By imagining what it may be like to walk in the shoes of another will get us one step closer to civility, respect, equality and inclusion.