Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

 

      (Packing up my office- Last day is June 3)

‘Sweet, so would I

Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing.

Good night, good night!  Parting is such sweet sorrow.’  

(Act 2, Scene 2) Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet

The above scene, from William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, is arguably one of the most famous in American literature.   Juliet uttered the most recognized line, ‘Parting is such sweet sorrow’ to her star-crossed lover, Romeo as they said good night. 

What makes that specific line so fascinating is that ‘sweet sorrow’ is an oxymoron.  How can something be both sweet and sorrowful?  In the context of this scene, Juliet is expressing the feeling of sorrow at their parting, but the anticipation of reuniting the next day is so joyful, it is worth the pain of separation.

I think this feeling of ‘sweet sorrow’ translates beautifully in many experiences we have throughout our personal and professional lives.  In our personal lives it could be a time when you had to say goodbye to something or someone important to you. Perhaps it was a loved one who passed away or a child who left for college.  The sorrow might be that a period of time (childhood) or a relationship has ended (death), but the sweetness is the memories that will forever be cherished and revisited. 

Professionally, ‘sweet sorrow’ could represent moving to a new position within an organization—or even to a new organization entirely.  The sorrow is maybe leaving co-workers, a boss—and even the job itself.   The sweetness could be the anticipation of learning new skills, meeting new people and being exposed to new challenges and experiences. 

Change is movement.  Change is evolution.  Change is growth.  Without change—and perhaps sorrow to some degree—would the pleasure be as sweet?    

‘Sweet sorrow,’ is the perfect term to define how I am feeling after accepting an exciting opportunity at a new employer and resigning from my position as Human Resources & Communications Director for Proteus, Inc. after 26 years of service.  There is sorrow in leaving my team, coworkers, supervisor and the organization as a whole.  On the flip side, I am filled with excitement, curiosity, and anticipation of learning new skills, sharing my knowledge and challenging my inner voice that has previously held me back from trying new things. 

I’m venturing into unknown territory and with that comes fear and uncertainty.   There is no guarantee that the reward will be sweet, but without tying, how would one know?  Change is scary.  I’m the first to admit it.  But if you are not growing, it’s time for a change. 

If you are experiencing either of the two following career killers, it might be time for a change:

1.  Exhibiting Complacency- If you have become unmotivated or dread coming to work, it might be time for a change.  Change doesn’t mean leaving the organization or job you love.  It may mean applying for a different position within the organization or asking your supervisor for additional duties.  Nothing impresses a supervisor more than initiative!  It may mean volunteering on a committee or asking to support your team on a special project.  If you are complacent, not only are you failing yourself, you are failing the organization.  (Thee needeth to moveth)

2.  Lacking Growth- It might be time for a change if you are not growing professionally.  That could mean that you have reached the height of your opportunities within an organization.  It may mean that you are not learning new skills or being challenged based on your knowledge and expertise.  

If you feel that you are not growing, ask for additional training, research certifications or enhance your knowledge through educational opportunities offered through your organization or on your own.  You may also join a professional group or volunteer on a local board where you can make contacts and access resources to better your career.  Last, read, read, read!  If you are not taking advantage of the thousands of personal and professional books available, you are missing out on  broadening your imagination, improving your verbal and written communication, and developing your emotional intelligence and ability to self-reflect.  (Thee needeth to groweth)

The great thing about both of these career killers is that YOU have control over the outcome.   YOU write the story of your personal and professional journey.  And YOU decide if it will read like a Shakespearian tragedy.   

‘Good night, good night!  Parting is such sweet sorrow.’   To my Proteus family, this is not good night or good bye, but a joyful farewell. 

 

 

 

Happy Mother's Day- Good Moms Let You Lick the Beaters

“Ma… Mommy… Mum… Mother… Madre…,” my son rattles off—just in case I forgot my lot in life.  

“Yes, Master Mason, what can I have the pleasure of doing for you today?” I momcastically respond.

“Do you know where my keys are?” he asks.  

I state the obvious, “Did you look?”

“Ya, but you can find anything,” he states.  “Can you just help me?”  

After asking him where he last saw them and backtracking his steps, his keys were found within minutes in his discarded jeans from the night before.

“See mom, you can find anything!” he smiles as he grabs his keys and saunters away.

I stand there for a moment with hands on my hips—like us moms like to do—in silent recognition that I was duped again by the child I chose to give life to.

In celebration of Mother’s Day, I’d like to dedicate this article to all the moms out there “who can find anything!” 

When we think of moms, we think of nurturer, supporter, caretaker, housecleaner, cook, nurse, and referee—among many other job titles.  According to U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (2021), in addition to at-home roles, approximately 75.5% of mothers with children older than six are employed in the workforce. 

“I’m off to my other job,” is a regular salutation I give as I leave the office to describe my role as mother and wife.  Rarely is my lunch hour spent leisurely enjoying a sandwich at Papa Johns.  Instead, the time is spent running errands, picking up groceries and sometimes even rushing home to do laundry to ease up my nightly chores.  And I don’t even have young ones anymore!  I shudder to think how I managed doctor’s appointments, teacher’s conferences, sick days and all the other responsibilities that came with having younger children.  But I did it, and I see my amazing coworkers doing it as well.

Although the traditional roles of ma and pa are changing, there is still a large enough gap that I sometimes fantasize about giving a slight push kick to pa’s backside to even things out.  Unfortunately, it is still mostly (not all) women who are having to choose between career and family.  You can certainly have both, but there will be sacrifices.  The goal is to even things out and give yourself a break when things aren’t “perfect.”

It’s kind of like when you had your first child.  You might have ironed all of his/her baby clothes, perhaps you made his/her own organic baby food, or sprayed down all of his/her toys—and please don’t even mention allowing food that fell on the ground from entering your child’s mouth! 

Then you have your second child.  You are lucky to get yourself dressed let alone them, bath time consists of stripping them down and handing them to dad while he showers—and fallen food?   It’s better than no food!  Same goes for working moms.  One can be perfect—mom or career.  But both—we just do the very best we can do. 

I won’t dare give you mom tips or tips on how to juggle career and family.  There is no one fits all.  I’ve learned that no matter what you do as a mom, it won’t be given the acknowledgement and recognition it deserves.  It truly is a thankless job at times.  But the moment you see your children, who you thought were not listening to your lectures on manners, morals, forgiveness, kindness, etc. demonstrate what you taught them—you will know you’ve done your job.     

And you know what part is worth waiting for?  Payback.  The following are some of the things my mom said to me that has now happened to me:

1)  Just wait until you have children!

2)  I can’t wait until you have children!

4)  You think I’m a mean mom?  Wait until you have children!

5)  I worry too much?  Wait until you have children!

And my favorite, “I told you so!”  Yes you did mom!

Happy Mother’s Day to all you momma bears out there who protect and love their cubs every day!  A special shout out to my mom and best friend.  Thank you for always being there for me in my darkest days and in my brightest.