Q: Dear Workplace Wonda,
There is an employee who always seems
to bring her personal problems to work.
If she is not talking about them, she is coming in late or calling in
sick due to something happening at home.
I know it is none of my business, but it seems like she sucks the air
out of our department with her personal problems. Shouldn’t something be done about this?
Signed, Personally Annoyed
A: Dear Personally Annoyed,
There is no denying that the struggles and challenges of
employees' personal lives can trickle - or gush into the workplace. Work is a place where we will spend one-third
of our lives. The place where we are
expected to be happy, cooperative and professional at all times.
It seems reasonable that personal problems occurring in the
remaining two-thirds of our lives could spill into the workplace. The key to preventing a tidal wave of drama
from engulfing your office or department is consistency
and compassion.
I was recently told by “he who must not be named,” that I
was responsible for putting the extra “o” in “too, ” as in I'm "too" much. Why, thank you? I like to think of myself as “spirited” or “passionate,”
but, o.k.
This can also be said about those who share “too” much about
their personal lives. Or let his or her
personal problems cause “too” much drama at work.
You know the type.
They are always sprinting into the office 5 to 10 minutes late, hair
wet, shirt untucked with an animated response as to why he or she is late. “OMG, you won’t believe what happened!” In
fact, you usually can’t believe what happened and how it could possibly happen
over and over again to one person.
Some people have a difficult time compartmentalizing their
lives; therefore, are unable to prevent personal problems from affecting their
work performance.
I’m going to make a confession. When I was a teen, I wanted to get out of
work so I could make-up with my boyfriend whom I broke up with for the hundredth
time. I told my supervisor my grandma
died and I was “too” upset to go to work. My supervisor, who apparently wasn’t born
yesterday, asked me what my Grandma’s name was because she wanted to read her
obituary. Thankfully, it wasn’t a complete
fabrication. In fact, my step-mother’s
mom had passed away. Sure, I never met
her, nor did I have any biological connection to her whatsoever, but she was a
Grandma… just not mine.
I just realized I said “thankfully” when discussing the
level of treachery I used to get out of work after the passing of my
step-grandma? OMG, perhaps I am
responsible for the extra “o” in “too!”
Like, I’m making this “too” much about me?
Back to your question. Yes, something should be done about
an employee who is causing a tsunami of drama that threatens to drown the
morale and performance of the entire office.
Is it your job to be therapist or warden? No.
It is the role of the supervisor to address personal issues
that threaten to wash away the employee and everything else in its wake. It should be handled consistently and with compassion.
Life is hard and stress is real. But the reality is, life is hard for most and
there has to be a standard and consistent approach to handling personal
problems that affect work performance and office morale. Meaning, supervisors should treat each
employee with the same expectations.
Expectations of the office or department should be clearly
defined, including expected behavior.
This way, everyone has the same message and understands in advance what
the expectations are and what could happen if expectations are not met.
When addressing an individual employee, supervisors should do
it in private, giving specific examples of how his or her personal problems are
affecting work performance and impacting other employees or the product or
services offered.
Divorce, death of a family member, health issues and more can
hit anyone. Showing sincere compassion
and understanding shouldn’t undermine a supervisor’s expectations.
Supervisors can offer a sympathetic ear, but should never offer
advice. The goal is to get a better
understanding of the situation so the supervisor knows how to address it. If needed, the supervisor can refer the employee
to human resources or the employer’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP) to get
support. Another option would be to offer
time off or an unpaid personal leave so that the employee can address his or
her issues and come back to work focused and productive.
Hopefully, the supervisor will only have to address this
once, but if it continues, other disciplinary options might have to be
considered. Regardless of the outcome,
the supervisor should document, document, document.
Now what can YOU do?
Don’t let his or her problems become yours. You do have control over how you react to
someone else’s behavior. Choose to
concentrate on your work performance and set your own boundaries with your
coworker when it comes to him or her sharing personal information. You could say something like, “I’m so sorry
Anne that you are going through that, but I have to get this project done. You should consider talking to your
supervisor or human resources. They are
better equipped to assist you.”
If his or her personal problems are affecting a team effort,
certainly inform your supervisor.
Sometimes, the supervisor is the last to know, particularly when it
comes to specific personal issues. If the supervisor doesn’t seem “in touch”
with what is going on, share with them how the employee isn’t carrying his or
her weight on the project. Give the supervisor
specific examples and ask if they could address it with the employee.
Signed,
Workplace Wonda
FYI, it was Mr. Workplace Wonda who said that I put the
extra “o” in the word “too.” He should get
credit for his clever zinger that I will take as a compliment. Thank you very much.
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